I could sing of Your {love} forever!

God answers prayers folks. Maybe not the way you imagined He would. Definitely not always the way you ask Him to, but oh yes. He answers them. 

Yesterday I needed encouragement. He sent it in the form of my friend Ed from school. Little did I know, but while I was tapping my frustrations out on here my beloved husband was chatting with Ed and made dinner plans for that evening. I was hot, tired, and emotionally bankrupt. However, I went along with it because my good manners wouldn't allow me to cancel. 

The evening turned out to be exactly what I needed. Ed walked in the door with two cheesecakes (exponentially therapeutic in and of themselves!) and enough words of encouragement and affirmation to not only get me through the next 30 days until my student loan refund, but to get my attention focused higher than my circumstances. My husband and Ed laughed and traded stories and uplifted my spirits. By the time hubbz and I waved goodbye to our friend, I felt a renewed sense of dedication to my education. 

Today we got to spend the day with some dear friends. They are very musical, and perform every Sunday at church. I mentioned to my friend that I wanted to learn how to play guitar this fall and BAM! I remembered her hubbz plays guitar! He agreed to teach me this fall, and when he joined us later, he brought his guitar and taught me my first chord (D major). While the kiddos played he was walking around strumming, and they sang a couple of worship songs. One of them is called, "I Could Sing of Your Love Forever." Listening to my friend's voice lilt and swing with her husband's guitar in harmony and worship was an audible illustration of my thankful heart. 

 For now, this is the path that I know I'm supposed to be on, and these are definitely the people my family and I are supposed to be surrounded by. After graduation? Who knows. Until then, Lord I will sing of your love. Thank You for answering my prayer with such precious people. I'm so very, very blessed.

{refocus}

I've been feeling lately like I've been looking at my life through something hazy, something that is obscuring the panorama before me. The landscape of my life has changed. I'm no longer a single parent; I have a wonderful husband to share my life with now. The first false truth I debunked going from single to married was that being married was most assuredly not easier. It's just different. I truly expected it to be easier. Not that marriage isn't beautiful, that having a love that has no ceiling to keep it from growing into the stratosphere and beyond is without a doubt breathtaking, but is not easier. The whole "two is better than one" thing has responsibilities. So does being single and parent to boot. I could go on, but I would digress too far into a topic miles away from where I'm headed today.

Being a wife now changes my prayers dramatically. It changes everything. The hopes and dreams I had as a single parent were born from a heart that dared not include a husband. An entire life I built in my head without any room for a husband, as it turns out. Now, not only has the landscape changed before me, but so has the light shining down upon. I can't get a clear view of anything. I find myself squinting and squeezing the eyes of my heart tightly only reopen them to find the same fuzzy, mottled scene before me. 

I confess I'm no longer at peace with the road I'm on, that the direction my life was taking before marriage is the right path for me to be on. Not that I don't love what I'm doing, but I'm mature enough in my faith to know that just because a person loves what they are doing doesn't necessarily mean that it has the Lord's stamp of approval. I can't help but wonder if all the struggling we're going through is the result of forcing our square dreams into God's round hole of His will. . .

After sharing my feelings with hubbz (translation: I southern-girl-snotted for about 15 minutes on his shoulder), and given the current circumstances we are faced with in our life right now, we are dedicating our prayer life to revelation of God's will for our marriage and family. No matter what that means, or what road it takes us down. We know God is walking before us and behind us. All He asks is that we trust the water He's walking on, no matter how torrential the storm is around Him. And I do. And we will. I just need to refocus. Not horizontally. . .but vertically.

Moody blues :o)

One of my many projects I've been working on this summer in my home has been my bookshelves. Here is a "before" picture. . .it's the only one I have in our house, from a fun night we had when the power went out in a rain storm. :-)

These shelves are solid pine, and painted black. I bought them at my local Garden Ridge. I also have the matching coffee table and TV stand - both purchased black. I was in a very modern-monochromatic phase in my early twenties. I've hated them for years now, but never felt motivated to do anything about them. The only reason I hung onto them is because they were solid wood. However, in our home, the visual effect of black shelving was dark and depressing. We decided to incorporate our love for the beach and the ocean into our home, weaving its hues and mood-soothing elements beginning with the shelves. 

Thomas' dad gave us some blue paint to paint his room - three different shades of blue from Sherwin Williams. I fell in love with one blue (its label said Blue Hat) and painted the small shelf and finished our "PRAY" sign above our prayer wall, and one black laminate shelf/drawer combo. We then brought the sign to the Sherwin Williams store to match it to a deeper blue in the same color. Mr. Sherwin Williams guy was fantastic and zoomed in lighting fast and found it and we purchased the little $5 sample jar. I fairly bounced back to my car!

It took almost two weeks to finish the shelves between playdates, errands, and preparing for my mother's GI surgery this past week. I finally got the last coat painted on the tall shelf in my new deeper blue yesterday morning. In the before picture, you can see the ridiculous textbook collection on the tall shelf. I decided that since I was homeschooling Thomas this year, we needed to have a more central location for all things educational - the only room left is the dining room, where I usually end up spreading out with my nursing school stuff. 

My #1 goal in my home is to create a soothing environment for my busy family and a welcoming place for friends and extended family to relax. A refuge for the senses and a delightful place to fellowship and make memories. To achieve this, de-cluttering and grouping like things together is key so the brain doesn't have to work to make sense of it all - it can just soak it in and focus on what matters most: the people and relationships. 

Here is my finished product: Ta-da!!! I will edit post to include pictures of the other two shelves, so stay tuned!

Nursing school books have been relocated to the dining room where they will be placed in low, shelf/bench (I'm thinking EXPEDIT from Ikea). I have a ridiculous shell collection, which with a dear friend's help, was pulled out of my bedroom and repurposed for living room decor. I also found a fun little fish-shaped glass plate at my favorite Salvation Army store and arranged some smaller shells on, which can easily be relocated if small children visit. (I've since moved the lamp cord so it is less visible)

I ditched a dark, espresso stained desk I had in my dining room because it wasn't deep enough. It had turned into a clutter catch all, so I sold it on Craigslist. I then moved a Freecycle desk I painted white from the living room (I was using it as a sewing table) into the dining room in a corner. Dining room pictures coming soon. . .but the effect in both rooms is breathtaking to me! Lighter, brighter, and more spacious! Hubbz and I spent the evening watching a movie and marveling at how much more relaxing it made us feel to have the shelves completed and the clutter gone. aaaaahhhhhh. . . .

while I'm waiting...

Mom is at the hospital, and just getting out of surgery. My husband and I decided to stay the night at their house and take care of their dogs since Dad will be with her overnight. While I don't necessarily mind, its easier to stay occupied since my house is a disaster area right now. We are rearranging some furniture and painting bookshelves so right now there are piles of stuff EVERYWHERE on the floor. My husband is ready to just throw it all in a closet, but alas, his love for me outweighs the temptation. Or so I keep telling myself. . .he was making faces at the dining room this morning. Hmmmm. . .

Truth is, while most of our activity occurs 12 or so miles north of where we live, I'd much rather be there. Oh, well. While I wait to go home, I will make the best of it. There's plenty to distract me from looking at the clock, like text my friend and see if she's ready for us to come over. :-)