being still

My husband has been busy these past few days with employment opportunities. Suddenly the landscape of available jobs is no longer sparse and dry, but showing signs of lushness and life. He had an interview yesterday, and is following up on three establishments today which he had called yesterday. It's been so hard for him this year going on interview after interview. We've been praying for God's best, however. And His best isn't just laying around, easy to come by. God's best is special. Set apart. If finding His best were easy, we wouldn't need Him because we could find it on our own. Finding things on our own, through independent endeavors and striving in our own strength, is opposite of the relationship our Heavenly Father desires to have with us.

The New International Version of the Holy Bible is the most published version of the Bible in the world. Most everyone has seen the first line of Psalm 46:10 on hospital walls, email signatures, or Facebook posts. It says "Be still and know that I am God." Stillness is the physical act of not moving. An online dictionary gives the following definitions:

1. remaining in place or at rest; motionless; stationary: to stand still.

2. free from sound or noise, as a place or persons; silent: to keep still about a matter.

3. subdued or low in sound; hushed: a still, small voice.

 

I've often quoted Psalm 46:10 in my head when I catch myself in all my Type-A-single-mom-psychosis-control-freak glory, tirelessly trying to manipulate my circumstances to get something accomplished. I then move myself to my knees, tirelessly praying, my mind and spirit all aflurry. There is absolutely nothing wrong with praying frustrations out. Yet what I was doing was turning my physical striving outside-in, and internalizing all that activity. I had the appearance of stillness, but on the inside, I was striving nonetheless.

Yesterday hubbz and I were trying hard not to let Satan enslave our minds and hearts with discouragement. Our conversation led us to recalling the image of Jesus walking on the water in the storm, reaching out to Peter to join him. Instead of sinking in the world's sea of worry and doubt, we chose to stare our Savior's feet, where the water still beneath Him, and keep our gaze where He is, not on the tumultuous waves around us. No matter how crazy it seems. No matter how zealously evil tries to sell us fear and anxiety about our finances, even through well-intentioned friends and family. Jesus asked Peter for blind faith. The faith Peter showed by stepping out of the boat would never have been manifested if the waters were calmer. Faith in the storm lays a firm foundation in our memory so when future storms arise, we can recall His love, faithfulness, strength, and provision. Without faith like Peter exemplified in His first step out of the boat and the focus he kept on his Savior, we will inevitably sink like he did in the waters of turmoil beneath our feet.  (see Matthew 14:22-33 )

I love the New American Standard Bible. A dear friend in my womens' Lifegroup (i.e. Sunday School class) described the feeling it gave me perfectly: "It sings to you." Indeed it does. The NASB version of Psalm 46:10 gives a vibrant picture of God's call to our hearts.

"Cease striving and know that I am God"

Ceasing to strive calls my spirit to be still. How often have we sat in a room of crowded people still and silent, but were actually screaming on the inside? Oh, how I've been there. . .

In less than 30 days, our financial position will be considerably less precarious due to my financial aid refund from my university. I've been in this position before, too. In January of this year, I found myself in the midst of a storm trying not to take my eyes off Jesus and sink in the waters below me that were thirsting for my defeat, with a mere 30 days between where I stood and relief from the burdens I carried. All Jesus wanted me to do then was give my burdens to Him. I did then out of survival and the Lord took care of me and the yoke of Christ was indeed a much lighter load to bear. So now, hubbz and I find it easier to cast our cares upon Him (1 Peter 5:7 and Psalm 55:22 ), decide to be still in our efforts, and choose to cease striving in our spirits. It makes no sense to the world and the people we know that don't know Jesus. In fact, it drives them crazy with speculation and judgement. Quite honestly, we don't really care what they think. As long as our Father in Heaven is honored, we have little use for worldly views of success and failure. Our family of believers hug us and pray for us and give us priceless words of encouragement and affirmation, while we all watch God rain down manna from the heavens and meet our every need. All His love and the love He sends through His other children in Christ make it so easy to be at peace and still before Him inside and out.

Thank you Father, for your Son. Being still in this storm would be impossible without Him. Amen.